


Outcasts

by frogsandrosbifs



Series: Autistic headcanons [1]
Category: A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Autism, Gen, autistic Arya, autistic Ned, autistic Sansa too, autistic headcanons
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-03
Updated: 2014-03-03
Packaged: 2018-01-14 11:41:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 729
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1265212
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/frogsandrosbifs/pseuds/frogsandrosbifs
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>An autistic Arya drabble ; also includes autistic Ned and possibly autistic Sansa. <br/>Pre AGOT.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Outcasts

She does not get it ; the way her sister knows all the words to say at the right time and how to act like a true lady. When Sansa stands near their mother, their body language seems to mirror each other.

Arya tries to imitate, but it never looks right, and after a few minutes she starts tapping her foot on the floor and flutter her hands on her side because greeting guests is long, boring and she does not see the use of it. She was here, and they knew it, why did it have to take so long ?

 

Sweet moves, soft, elegant, they always seem to sit right and stand straight when already Arya is hunched on her chair. It makes her nervous to sit so still, and even during dinner she taps her fingers on the table and fidgets and rocks. Next to her, Sansa gets annoyed and tells her to stop moving so much, and they start fighting again. She always tells her to stop moving or to stop running and it’s so annoying. 

Sansa keeps asking her to follow the rules, but the rules are unclear and change all the time — and there are so many ! Arya does not understand why the rules want her to act like a Lady when she does not want to be one. She does not even get what “acting like a Lady” means — it’s so unclear !— and supposes she has to mirror Sansa. The thing is, she cannot, because they are not the same person. When Sansa just wants to stay inside and play quietly she is the one who wants to run outside and be loud and climb up trees because it is the only way she ever feels free. Sansa loves pretty dresses, but Arya cannot wear them. They do not look right on her, and they are itchy and uncomfortable and do not let you run.

Like her sister, she does like stories, but she wants to be the one who wields the sword. When Sansa tells her she can’t, she replies that Visenya Targaryen could, and that’s way better than any of her stupid maiden stories.

Arya feels like the outcast, the one who is never right, who moves too much and is always too blunt or not pleasant enough.

Jon Snow is an outcast too, and they look like each other — it’s comforting and she could not care less if he is a bastard. She doesn’t get why he is treated differently, anyway. Arya likes his quiet voice and his smile and the way he always hugs her tight enough and sometimes carries her on his back.

Sometimes when he is sitting alone she comes to him, and even if he is fourteen he plays with her as if he was still a little boy. He tries to tell her why there are so many rules, and when she says it’s stupid he just agrees — even if he really does try to explain some of them. She sits like him now, talk like him. She does not really have to try, but sometimes does observe him to know how to act with people.

He says things she likes to repeat because they sound funny, or because they help her. Besides, Jon will never tell her to stop fidgeting or rocking or to stop speaking so loudly.

_With Jon she always belongs._

Like Jon, her father speaks quietly. Arya likes quiet voices, she likes hearing him because it washes over her and calms her down, she likes the feel of his clothes and the rough fabric when he hugs her, and the way sometimes he sits with her and explains exactly why people got angry at her. Father is always clear and straight to the point, just like she is. She does not have to read between the lines to get him.

_The world makes a little more sense with Father, the chaos has clear rules which are clearly laid out._

It is no wonder they say she is so much like them. Arya is Stark to the core — sometimes she is even scared her mother does not like her because she is not Tully enough. Sometimes they say she just has the wolf’s blood, and she hears her father chuckle and his eyes looks far away to someone who is not here anymore.


End file.
